The Joint Wedding Toast: How to Rock Yours

This entry is from our Expert Guest series where wedding and honeymoon professionals share their best tips on creating memories that last a lifetime.

A joint wedding toast is a great way of showing everyone you care about: Boom! We’re a team! The award-winning comedy writers at Speechy reveal how to deliver a newlyweds’ double act that will have your guests rolling in the aisles.

Whether it’s at the rehearsal dinner or the big day itself, a joint speech is a trend set to stay for 2020. It makes perfect sense – you both get to thank your friends and family for coming and start your marriage off as you mean to go on –making each other laugh!

Guests love the surprise element of a joint speech, but it can be tricky to pull off. Follow our guide to creating the perfect couple’s toast…

1 – Know Your Etiquette

Don’t get too caught up in what you feel you ‘should’ say. Generally, you should probably thank:

• everyone for coming
• your parents
• best man
• maid of honor
• groomsmen and bridesmaids

There may be others whose contributions you’d like to mention but avoid reading out half the guest list. There’s nothing more tedious than a five-minute thank you list (especially for the few people who don’t get a mention!).

With each of the thanks, how about one of you lead and the other deliver a comedy line at the end? Something like:

• You: ‘Thank you mom and dad for providing me with such a loving childhood; fun, inspiring and always so encouraging.’
• Him: ‘Though I wish you hadn’t encouraged her love of singing. It really is impossible to go on a car journey with her for any length of time. Sometimes I consider getting out and hitchhiking…’

As for gifts, we recommend giving them out earlier in the day to avoid killing the flow of your speech.

2 – Gather Your Content

This is the fun part. Grab a bottle of wine and a large sheet of paper. It’s time to have what they referred to in the ‘90s as a ‘brainstorm’…

• Reminisce – recount your first meeting, your first date, the moment you knew it was forever. We’re not looking for the sappy stuff here, this is your chance to tell the anecdotes that verify you’re both as crazy as each other. Perhaps you bonded over your shared anchovy obsession? Or did you know he was the one when he totally ‘got’ your weird habit of smelling library books?
• Make it Work – thread your sketches together with a theme based on how people would describe you as a couple. Play up to your relationship dynamic and build a narrative.
• The Sweet Bit – agree on who’s thanking who and how you’ll make it special (while keeping it brief!)

3 – Structure Your Speech

Build your structure on your most obvious character traits. Say you both happen to be teachers – your theme might be ‘lessons we’ve learned from one another’. It might go something like this:

• Thank everyone for coming and set up your theme: ‘Two teachers tying the knot today – bet you’re wondering who’ll be in detention first! Well, here’s a little insight into the lessons we’ve been teaching each other in our time together…’
• Lesson 1 – What not to do on a first date (anecdote about him wincing after a bone-crunching handshake from your father)
• Lesson 2 – How love makes you crazy (example of reporting your car stolen only to find you’d park it somewhere else)
• Lesson 3 – How to share a house with someone very different (does a foosball table count as furniture, and how many cushions are too many?)
• Lesson 4 – We rather like each other (write these sections secretly so you can surprise each other on the day)
• The individual thank you’s and the all-important toast

4 – Get Writing

This is the hard part. Trying to write this together might just be your toughest relationship challenge to date. How about one of you writes the first draft and the other one improves it?

Avoid chronicling your entire relationship. Guests don’t need to know the story of your life. Keeping it brief doesn’t mean it can’t be a highlight of the day

Divide the speech so you each have small sections to deliver (2-6 sentences) and alternate throughout.

Bounce off each other and deliver some ‘comedy ad libs’ if they come naturally, but it’s also fine if one of you plays it straight and the other plays the fall guy:

• You: We love that we share the same taste in classic movies
• Him: I knew she was the one when she admitted that as a child she thought color tv was actually invented halfway through the Wizard of Oz
• You: Ok, but at least I didn’t hide behind the couch when the Wicked Witch came on screen.
• Him: She was terrifying! Almost as scary as you before your morning coffee.

5 – Prepare to Deliver Your Joint Wedding Toast

A joint speech relies on a lot of rehearsal so factor in time to your wedding prep schedule.

On the day, remember to smile and laugh throughout. People want you to do well and if it looks like you’re having fun, they will too!

Bio: Speechy is a bespoke speech writing service, helping couples around the world add an awesome moment to their day. If you feel you need more than ‘advice’, check out Speechy’s bespoke speech writing service and find out how you can work with one of the team to craft your dream speech. Use HONEYFUND1 at checkout to get an exclusive 15% discount!