This entry is from our Expert Guest series where wedding and honeymoon professionals share their best tips on creating memories that last a lifetime.
Planning a Gay or Same Sex wedding is not that different to a traditional wedding, but there are some details which differ. Because same sex marriage is newly legal in many places, there are few established customs, which offers couples the freedom to plan the wedding they want without departing from tradition.
Etiquette For Your Same Sex Wedding
As there is no ‘etiquette’ for gay weddings, the couple is free to make it up as they go. There are no rules to break so they can, in fact, be part of establishing what will become gay wedding etiquette.
The Proposal
The first difference with gay weddings is the proposal. As gay weddings are so ‘new’, it has been found that, to date, the majority of couples have been in long-term relationships. Rather than a formal proposal, getting married has tended to be a mutual decision as many have discussed the idea, if and when marriage became legal. Undoubtedly, the formal proposal will change over time, once gay weddings become the norm.
During the first 12 months of legal gay weddings in the USA, less than half the couples approached their partner’s family for permission to marry. This too, we believe, will increase over time.
The Hen/Bucks Party
In the past, the bachelor/ bachelorette or hen/ bucks have been separate events. They can certainly be separate events, however, it seems that it is more common to have a combined event. The guests that would be invited for each partner are generally the same!
The Ceremony
The area where a gay wedding will differ the most is in the actual wedding ceremony.
A traditional wedding would see the bride accompanied down the aisle by her father whilst the groom and bridal party waited at the altar. There are various options open to gay couples. We have suggested a few below.
- The most popular option to date (approximately 37% of weddings in the USA) is where the couple walks down the aisle together.
- The couple may approach the altar via different aisles and meet at the altar. This could be done by themselves or accompanied by their father or mother.
- The couple could enter from the side with the officiant.
- The couple could be seated with their parents or friends and then join the officiant when they arrive.
The wedding party can be any combination of family & friends you wish. Each partner could invite half the party or they could choose the party together.
As you are making the rules- choose whatever feels right for you.
Wedding Attire
Common marriage tradition is that partners do not see each other in their wedding attire until they meet at the church. This is certainly losing favor, but many still follow the practice. If you wish to follow this tradition, we would suggest that you get a friend to coordinate attire to ensure you do not clash.
Wedding Suppliers
It is very uncommon for suppliers to have a problem catering for a gay wedding. We would suggest that you let all your suppliers know that they are catering for a gay wedding in your initial discussions. If a supplier has a problem, it is best to know early and move on to another supplier.
Enjoy this opportunity to style the wedding as you wish. You are fortunate that many of the decisions are not constricted by tradition.
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BIO: My Ideal Wedding. A couple’s wedding day is arguably one of the most important days of their life, so why do so many consistently make a point of creating more opportunities for things to go wrong? My Ideal Wedding helps you have fun planning your special day by serving as your ultimate Wedding Day Planner at wedding venues in Melbourne and across the whole of Australia.
My Ideal Weddings represents the most-complete wedding preparation tools available online today, and they are eager to use these tools to contribute to your future happiness. If you need help in planning a same-sex wedding, let My ideal Wedding handle the details.
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