January 2018

Planning a same sex wedding

This entry is from our Expert Guest series where wedding and honeymoon professionals share their best tips on creating memories that last a lifetime.

Planning a Gay or Same Sex wedding is not that different to a traditional wedding, but there are some details which differ. Because same sex marriage is newly legal in many places, there are few established customs, which offers couples the freedom to plan the wedding they want without departing from tradition.

Two brides in same sex wedding

Etiquette For Your Same Sex Wedding

As there is no ‘etiquette’ for gay weddings, the couple is free to make it up as they go. There are no rules to break so they can, in fact, be part of establishing what will become gay wedding etiquette.

Celebrating a same sex proposal

The Proposal

The first difference with gay weddings is the proposal. As gay weddings are so ‘new’, it has been found that, to date, the majority of couples have been in long-term relationships. Rather than a formal proposal, getting married has tended to be a mutual decision as many have discussed the idea, if and when marriage became legal. Undoubtedly, the formal proposal will change over time, once gay weddings become the norm.

During the first 12 months of legal gay weddings in the USA, less than half the couples approached their partner’s family for permission to marry. This too, we believe, will increase over time.

Enjoying a bachelor party

The Hen/Bucks Party

In the past, the bachelor/ bachelorette or hen/ bucks have been separate events. They can certainly be separate events, however, it seems that it is more common to have a combined event. The guests that would be invited for each partner are generally the same!

Gay wedding with rabbi officiatingThe Ceremony

The area where a gay wedding will differ the most is in the actual wedding ceremony.

A traditional wedding would see the bride accompanied down the aisle by her father whilst the groom and bridal party waited at the altar. There are various options open to gay couples. We have suggested a few below.

  • The most popular option to date (approximately 37% of weddings in the USA) is where the couple walks down the aisle together.
  •  The couple may approach the altar via different aisles and meet at the altar. This could be done by themselves or accompanied by their father or mother.
  • The couple could enter from the side with the officiant.
  • The couple could be seated with their parents or friends and then join the officiant when they arrive.

The wedding party can be any combination of family & friends you wish. Each partner could invite half the party or they could choose the party together.

As you are making the rules- choose whatever feels right for you.

Coordinating attire for same sex wedding

Wedding Attire

Common marriage tradition is that partners do not see each other in their wedding attire until they meet at the church. This is certainly losing favor, but many still follow the practice. If you wish to follow this tradition, we would suggest that you get a friend to coordinate attire to ensure you do not clash.

Find the right vendors

Wedding Suppliers

It is very uncommon for suppliers to have a problem catering for a gay wedding. We would suggest that you let all your suppliers know that they are catering for a gay wedding in your initial discussions. If a supplier has a problem, it is best to know early and move on to another supplier.

Enjoy this opportunity to style the wedding as you wish. You are fortunate that many of the decisions are not constricted by tradition.

Help finance your wedding with a Honeyfund honeymoon registry.

BIO: My Ideal Wedding. A couple’s wedding day is arguably one of the most important days of their life, so why do so many consistently make a point of creating more opportunities for things to go wrong? My Ideal Wedding helps you have fun planning your special day by serving as your ultimate Wedding Day Planner at wedding venues in Melbourne and across the whole of Australia.

My Ideal Weddings represents the most-complete wedding preparation tools available online today, and they are eager to use these tools to contribute to your future happiness. If you need help in planning a same-sex wedding, let My ideal Wedding handle the details.

Check them out on their Website or on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.


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Large guest list or extravagant reception

This entry is from our Expert Guest series where wedding and honeymoon professionals share their best tips on creating memories that last a lifetime.

Deciding between a big guest list and an extravagant reception is not an easy choice. As a Wedding Planner, I have couples that hit a crossroad where they have to decide on an answer to this question, and though it seems hard, there are some questions you can ask yourself that can help you decide on what direction to go.

Wedding reception

Deciding On A Large Wedding Guest List vs. A Fabulous Reception

One thing to establish is that most times when a couple ask themselves this question, it means there is a budget they have set and having a big guest list can either cause them to compromise on how they wanted the reception to look or to compromise on the look they envision for their wedding so having a big guest list will mean spending an enormous amount of money.

Below are some key questions we feel are important to ask yourself if you are trying to make this decision.

Planning your wedding

Questions To Ask Yourself

One: What is your budget?

What amount of money can you and your fiance honestly afford? What is the maximum you are willing to go above budget? Know the answers to these questions, know your numbers and stick to it. A wedding is once in a lifetime, so yes, you want it to be amazing, but you also want to be wise. Set a budget for how much you want to spend. However high or low you set a budget, give an allowance or an overage you can afford and stick to it.

Wedding style

Two: What Is The Look You Want?

What kind of design look do you want for your wedding? Most times having a higher guest count can directly affect how high your budget will go. You will either have to compromise on the design if you go with a higher count or have a lower guest count and splurge on your design.

Three: What Are Your Relationships With Your Guests?

Who are the people on your guest list and what is your relationship with them? When starting out the planning process, put a limit on the number of family members that can attend the wedding and give each side of the family the total number of people they are allowed to invite. This means you may have to cut out children under a certain age, your second and third cousins, and friends and acquaintances you haven’t seen in ages.

Four: What Is Your Guest Count?

How many guests do you intend to invite? What was your desired count? Does that match your budget? If your count is higher than your budget can afford then you need to make a decision to invite fewer guests or increase your budget.

Consider how you answered question 1 about money and remember that increasing the budget is not an option unless you have the financial means to do so without being broke. Use your answer to question 3 about relationships to get your guest list under control, especially if entertaining a huge guest list compromises your design.

Let Rae Affairs plan your wedding


Decisions, Decisions

There are lots of questions to ask yourself when trying to make this determination of having a large guest list or having an extravagant reception. Ultimately, it comes down to what is most important to you.

No one answer is perfect; however, going over your allowed budget to accommodate more people is not always the best idea. If you choose to invite a large number of people, then you will have to compromise with the design in order for it to fit into the budget. However, if your design is a top priority for your wedding then, aha! – There’s your answer! Keep the guest list lower to get the design you want. If you are not very particular about your decor then having extra guests won’t be a bad idea.

A Honeyfund honeymoon registry can help you finance your dream wedding.

BIO: RAE Affairs provides planning services for an array of events, depending on YOUR needs. From Weddings to Corporate Events to other Social Gatherings, at RAE, our goal is to bring your event to life. Our consultants work closely with you to make your vision a reality and to ensure that your event is customized to your budget and taste.

At RAE we understand that every client has unique needs, therefore it is our belief here that no two events are the same. Our number one goal is to ensure that your day is seamless and filled with pleasurable memories. From a posh intimate gathering to a grand deluxe event, our seasoned professional consultants have planned various types of events and we bring our years of experience to your occasion. At RAE the only thing we require from our clients is
Relax and Enjoy.

Check out our website, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

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