March 2017

Can you ask wedding guests for money?

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This entry is from our Expert Guest series where wedding and honeymoon professionals share their best tips on creating memories that last a lifetime.

Sometimes it’s difficult to work out the accepted wedding etiquette. After all, you’ve most likely never had to plan a wedding before! There are so many things you are expected to know: When should you send out a save the date? Who can you leave off the guest list? Can you tell people not to bring their kids? One of the most touchy areas, in etiquette as in life, involves money and how people are asked to spend it. Specifically, can you ask people for money in lieu of gifts? Can you ask them to spend their money on certain gifts instead of others? The answer is, it’s complicated.

Tactfully circulate your gift preferences

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The reason this is such a touchy issue is that making any statement about gifts can seem presumptuous. After all, your guests aren’t obligated to bring a gift. It’s supposed to be a nice extra. A bonus, not something you can count on ahead of time. Asking people to select a gift from a registry can sound like asking for loot, and even worse, asking for money or something else instead of gifts can sound ungrateful for anything else your guests may have planned to give you.

On the other hand, of course, many guests appreciate having some guidance on what they can spend money on. They don’t want to waste money buying a gift you don’t need or don’t like, so some indication can be helpful. They may prefer to give cash, but worry about seeming rude by failing to pick out a thoughtful gift. This has become especially pertinent in a time when many couples live together for years prior to marriage, or at least live independent of their parents beforehand. People usually have the kitchenware and towels sorted years before the wedding. But of course, lots of couples would love fancy new things for starting their married life, so expectations can get pretty complicated!

Know when to tell guests about gift preferences

Images courtesy https://paperlust.co/wedding-invitations/

Asking Guests For Wedding Gifts Of Money Or Specific Items

So what’s a bride to do? Can you help your guests out, or is it rude to do so? The answer is yes, help them out! But do it in an appropriate way. What is appropriate? Glad you asked! You have three main options:

Include a separate gift card

Images courtesy https://paperlust.co/wedding-invitations/

1. Add a card to your wedding invitation suite

First things first, you should never include information about gifts, cash or registries on a save the date or on the wedding invitation itself. What you can do, however, is to include a separate card that gives your guests information about your preference for gifts. Word it tastefully. Something like “We have already been blessed with everything we need for our home! If you wish to bring a gift, a contribution to our wishing well would be greatly appreciated.” Make sure it is clear that the gift is optional, that you sound thankful, and that you use tactful euphemisms. “A contribution to our wishing well” will always sound better than ˜cash’.

Add details to a wedding website

Images courtesy https://paperlust.co/wedding-invitations/

2. Add the information to your wedding website

Got a wedding website to share information with your guests? This is the perfect setting for information about gifts! This can work in tandem with an information card in your wedding invitation suite, but it is also considered more acceptable to include the details of your wedding website on the invitation itself rather than specifics about gifts if you would prefer to keep it to one card.

Set up a section on your website marked something like “registry,” “˜wishing well,” or “a note on gifts.”  Use the same tips on wording as above: be thankful, keep things optional, and be careful about your choice of terminology.

Rely on word of mouth

Images courtesy https://paperlust.co/wedding-invitations/

3. Rely on word of mouth

This is a good option if you are worried about offending certain guests or if your preference on gifts is not as firm. All you have to do here is let your parents, siblings, and bridal party know where you have registered or what your arrangements are. People who are stuck for ideas on gifts are likely to ask them (or you!) for ideas, and they can spread the word. Those who have their own thing in mind are unlikely to ask and will get you whatever they had planned on anyway. This is obviously less efficient, but is a good option if you’re not certain about how to handle it.

So that’s how to handle it. Let people know your preferences in a tactful way that is focused on helping make their lives easier rather than on making demands based solely on what you want, and people will be appreciative. Whether you’re registered somewhere, hoping for cash to put towards a house or paying off the wedding, or looking for donations to charity in lieu of presents, it’s just a matter of keeping it off the invitation and being polite.

Your Honeyfund honeymoon registry offers a tasteful way to ask for money!

Bio: This post was written by Maddison Wallace from Paperlust, Australia, where print design lovers and independent creatives unite.

Discover beautiful, fresh invitation designs exclusively available at paperlust.co and order with confidence knowing each card is printed on our luxe paper range.

Here you can order custom invitation and card designs for every occasion, including your wedding stationery, engagement invitations, birthday invitations and more.

For designers, Paperlust is the platform to sell your designs to our global community of design lovers, while the Paperlust team takes care of the printing, packaging, shipping, delivery, customer support, and all the other stuff you don’t have the time to deal with from your studio.

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What style wedding dress do you want?This entry is from our Expert Guest series where wedding and honeymoon professionals share their best tips on creating memories that last a lifetime.

With all the choices out there for brides-to-be in terms of gowns, designers, and styles, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Here are my tips from a bridal designer’s point of view to picking your wedding dress.

Designer’s Tips For Selecting Your Wedding Dress

Do your research

1. Do Your Research

Decide on what you like and don’t like. It sounds simple enough but once you get into a store there will be literally hundreds of dresses to choose from and you’ll just feel overwhelmed by choice. My advice is to pick 3 or 4 designers you really like that are in your style and budget and do your research!
Watch your budget

2. Budget

Decide on a budget and stick to it. This ties back into rule number 1. There are many brands at different price points, and you need to have an idea of what you are willing to spend. Don’t try on gowns that are out of your budget! You may fall madly in love with it and no other gown will live up to it, and you will be disappointed. It’s really important to be realistic.

It's your dress

3. Style

Honestly, I think the best advice I can give you is COME ALONE. This is your dress, and your day. Don’t let people project their opinions on your wedding, and what you want to wear, even if they know you well. Trust yourself! If you do want to bring friends, bring to your follow-up appointment when you have a clear idea of style and budget and they can help you with your top three choices.

Don't feel compelled to wear white

4. Don’t Feel Pressured to Wear White

White is gorgeous, but it’s not for everyone. Yet, I feel a lot of women go for it because they feel that it makes them look like a bride. If you do like white, then amazing- go for it- but don’t feel that you have to wear it if it’s not a colour that speaks out to you. Instead, look at pale pinks, a nude, or a soft grey, or champagne. At & FOR LOVE we have an amazing dirty gold dress that really stands out in a crowd.

Expect alterations on your dress

5. Don’t Think about Size

All designers size charts different. Don’t look at the number. Look at what fits you, and what makes you feel good, and remember that the dress will be altered anyway to get a perfect fit. No one is looking at the tag in your dress.

Help finance your honeymoon with a honeymoon registry from Honeyfund.

Bio:  & FOR LOVE // BRIDAL AND CEREMONIAL WEAR FOR THE EFFORTLESSLY COOL BRIDE 

& FOR LOVE is a modern bridal and ceremonial brand inspired by real life and real love. We create gowns, separates, and jumpsuits for a new type of bride- a woman who believes it’s ok to break the rules, and knows that looking like a “bride” just means a killer outfit that looks and feels amazing.

We believe in style that’s authentic, effortless, and elegant. That’s our definition of cool, and that’s what bridal means to us.

Angel Spendlove, the designer and creative director of & FOR LOVE, grew up in Sydney, Australia, and graduated from the Australian Ballet School in Melbourne, VIC. With her signature boho-meets-modern style, she is inspired by Kate Moss, Rooney Mara, Alexander McQueen, and vintage Balanchine costumes. Angel is the key eye behind & FOR LOVE’s aesthetic, and believes that bridal wear should be a celebration of your true style – and not an excuse to dress up like a 4-year-old‘s princess party.

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