wedding invitations

Can you ask wedding guests for money?

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This entry is from our Expert Guest series where wedding and honeymoon professionals share their best tips on creating memories that last a lifetime.

Sometimes it’s difficult to work out the accepted wedding etiquette. After all, you’ve most likely never had to plan a wedding before! There are so many things you are expected to know: When should you send out a save the date? Who can you leave off the guest list? Can you tell people not to bring their kids? One of the most touchy areas, in etiquette as in life, involves money and how people are asked to spend it. Specifically, can you ask people for money in lieu of gifts? Can you ask them to spend their money on certain gifts instead of others? The answer is, it’s complicated.

Tactfully circulate your gift preferences

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The reason this is such a touchy issue is that making any statement about gifts can seem presumptuous. After all, your guests aren’t obligated to bring a gift. It’s supposed to be a nice extra. A bonus, not something you can count on ahead of time. Asking people to select a gift from a registry can sound like asking for loot, and even worse, asking for money or something else instead of gifts can sound ungrateful for anything else your guests may have planned to give you.

On the other hand, of course, many guests appreciate having some guidance on what they can spend money on. They don’t want to waste money buying a gift you don’t need or don’t like, so some indication can be helpful. They may prefer to give cash, but worry about seeming rude by failing to pick out a thoughtful gift. This has become especially pertinent in a time when many couples live together for years prior to marriage, or at least live independent of their parents beforehand. People usually have the kitchenware and towels sorted years before the wedding. But of course, lots of couples would love fancy new things for starting their married life, so expectations can get pretty complicated!

Know when to tell guests about gift preferences

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Asking Guests For Wedding Gifts Of Money Or Specific Items

So what’s a bride to do? Can you help your guests out, or is it rude to do so? The answer is yes, help them out! But do it in an appropriate way. What is appropriate? Glad you asked! You have three main options:

Include a separate gift card

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1. Add a card to your wedding invitation suite

First things first, you should never include information about gifts, cash or registries on a save the date or on the wedding invitation itself. What you can do, however, is to include a separate card that gives your guests information about your preference for gifts. Word it tastefully. Something like “We have already been blessed with everything we need for our home! If you wish to bring a gift, a contribution to our wishing well would be greatly appreciated.” Make sure it is clear that the gift is optional, that you sound thankful, and that you use tactful euphemisms. “A contribution to our wishing well” will always sound better than ‘cash’.

Add details to a wedding website

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2. Add the information to your wedding website

Got a wedding website to share information with your guests? This is the perfect setting for information about gifts! This can work in tandem with an information card in your wedding invitation suite, but it is also considered more acceptable to include the details of your wedding website on the invitation itself rather than specifics about gifts if you would prefer to keep it to one card.

Set up a section on your website marked something like “registry,” “‘wishing well,” or “a note on gifts.”  Use the same tips on wording as above: be thankful, keep things optional, and be careful about your choice of terminology.

Rely on word of mouth

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3. Rely on word of mouth

This is a good option if you are worried about offending certain guests or if your preference on gifts is not as firm. All you have to do here is let your parents, siblings, and bridal party know where you have registered or what your arrangements are. People who are stuck for ideas on gifts are likely to ask them (or you!) for ideas, and they can spread the word. Those who have their own thing in mind are unlikely to ask and will get you whatever they had planned on anyway. This is obviously less efficient, but is a good option if you’re not certain about how to handle it.

So that’s how to handle it. Let people know your preferences in a tactful way that is focused on helping make their lives easier rather than on making demands based solely on what you want, and people will be appreciative. Whether you’re registered somewhere, hoping for cash to put towards a house or paying off the wedding, or looking for donations to charity in lieu of presents, it’s just a matter of keeping it off the invitation and being polite.

Your Honeyfund honeymoon registry offers a tasteful way to ask for money!

Bio: This post was written by Maddison Wallace from Paperlust, Australia, where print design lovers and independent creatives unite.

Discover beautiful, fresh invitation designs exclusively available at paperlust.co and order with confidence knowing each card is printed on our luxe paper range.

Here you can order custom invitation and card designs for every occasion, including your wedding stationery, engagement invitations, birthday invitations and more.

For designers, Paperlust is the platform to sell your designs to our global community of design lovers, while the Paperlust team takes care of the printing, packaging, shipping, delivery, customer support, and all the other stuff you don’t have the time to deal with from your studio.

With the US dollar offering favorable exchange rates, your printing dollar will go further here.

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The Newport Bride

This entry is from our Expert Guest series where wedding and honeymoon professionals share their best tips on creating memories that last a lifetime.

As amazing as your wedding day is, it’s over in just a few hours. The memories are what last forever. Thankfully, the memories can be refreshed in our minds and hearts with a few simple tricks. Your big day only happens once, but our 10 easy tips you can relive your wedding again and again!

How To Preserve Memories After The Wedding Day

Tip 1. Freeze-dry your bouquet

Get your bouquet freeze-dried so the texture, colors, and volume stay as vibrant was your wedding day. You can put the bouquet in a shadow box, or display it in a vase.

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Tip 2. Make a personal album with the best behind-the-scenes pictures

Some of the best wedding pictures are the ones that weren’t planned. Make an album of the best behind- the-scenes pics; that one of you and your MOH making a silly face, or the one of your niece asleep on the dance floor. Remembering those special little moments will help the day stay fresh in your memory.

Tip 3. Wear the scent you wore on your wedding

Wear the perfume you wore on your wedding day or ask your spouse to do the same and see what memories come back. Your brain will connect the familiar smell with your special day and bring all those emotions back to the surface.

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Tip 4. Put your wedding invitation in a pretty frame

Display the invitation you worked so hard to choose. You can find beautiful frames at a local home store or take it to the next level and get a custom frame.

Tip 5. Display wedding pictures around the house

Perhaps the most obvious way to remember your wedding, hanging wedding pictures in your home is a great way to remind yourself of your wedding on a daily basis. Plus, you get to remember how great you looked!

Play_your_first_dance_song

Tip 6. Play your first dance song

It’s no secret that songs can have special meaning. Put your first dance song on a favorite playlist and remember what it was like to look into the eyes of your spouse during your first dance.

Tip 7. Get fresh flowers, like the ones you at your wedding

If you prefer fresh over freeze-dried, get a fresh bouquet of the flowers you had in your bouquet or the centerpieces.

Tip 8. Make a shadow box with special little items from the wedding

Shadow boxes are a great way to display some of the three-dimension items from your wedding like your veil, a favor, unique escort card, ribbon from the bouquet, or even your cake topper.

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Tip 9. Watch your wedding video

If you don’t have a wedding video, put your wedding pictures into a slideshow set to music from your wedding and watch it with your new spouse.

Finance your honeymoon with a registry from Honeyfund.

Tip 10. Go back to the place you got married

Go back to where you had your ceremony and walk down the aisle. Remember what it was like to see your love waiting for you. Visit your reception site and stand on the dance floor remembering all your friends and family gathered around.

Bio: Julianna of The Newport Bride is obsessed with two things: weddings and Newport. Since the age of four, she has been planning weddings. The church, the dress, the flowers and food – she’s got binders and books about the whole affair.

When it was time for her own wedding, she realized how hard it was to make a decision when there was a whole world of possibilities and beautiful and exciting options and choices. She also realized how important it was to be married in her favorite place in the world, Newport, Rhode Island. Her great great great great….. Grandfather John Cogshall thought Newport was the place to be, and 450 years later, she agrees. As a 12th generation honorary Newport-er (she lives in Boston currently) this beautiful city by the sea is her heart home and nothing makes her happier than being in the city she loves with the people she loves.

The Newport Bride is her attempt at sharing her two favorite things with the rest of the world. Need wedding inspiration or just like looking through ideas? The Newport Bride is the place to look. Want the inside details on a venue or vendor, shoot Julianna an email or look through the vendor spotlight blog posts. You’ll get the inside details from a bride and planner whose seen it all. Learn more at https://thenewportbride.co/.

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