This entry is from our Expert Guest series where wedding and honeymoon professionals share their best tips on creating memories that last a lifetime.
When it comes to the honeymoon, we at The Plunge have a simple maxim: expect your honeymoon to be perfectly imperfect.
What we mean by that is this:
- Your honeymoon will be awesome, amazing, the most wonderful trip of your life;
- Your honeymoon will not be flawless.
A and B are not mutually exclusive. In fact, we think they’re mutually inclusive: How well you deal with Fact B has a direct impact on the degree to which Fact A holds true.
In other words, if you try to have a flawless honeymoon, you’ll end up having a disappointing one.
But if you accept that occasionally you may be annoyed with your spouse, inconvenienced by the airline, and less than thrilled with the service, you’ll still have a blast. Kind of like marriage itself.
Here are some things we tell our readers to keep in mind when managing their honeymoon expectations:
You’re not going to want to leave your hotel room
You may not want to leave your hotel room for the first day or two.
No, you won’t be too busy with non-stop sexual athletics. (We’ll get to the sex later.) You’ll just be exhausted.
Travelling is exciting, but it’s also tiring, you’re probably still recovering from all the happy drama of the Big Day. Relax, soon enough you’ll regain your energy, and you can start enjoying yourself in earnest.
But first, put on your bathrobe, pour yourself a drink, climb into the hot tub and chill.
You might be awkward around each other
Sure, sure, we know: he’s your best friend, the love of your life, the only person with whom you can truly be you.
Fair enough. But you’ve just gone through something that has changed your relationship irrevocably. You got married.
The man lying next to you in bed is no longer your boyfriend. He’s not even your fiancé anymore. He’s your husband, and you are his wife.
That feels different, even if you’ve been living together for years. Probably this newness will add to your excitement and happiness, but don’t stress if it also feels unsettling. You’ll get used to your new status soon enough.
Don’t worry about the sex
You’ve probably already had your fill of advice about honeymoon sex, so we’ll keep this brief: don’t feel disappointed if it’s not the most mind-blowing, out-of-body sexual experience of your life. There’s nothing that says it must be. In fact, the more you try to achieve this sexy-time milestone, the less likely you are to do so.
Don’t go for quantity over quality, either. There is no minimum number of orgasms required by the honeymoon police. If you just relax and let things happen, you’ll probably be happy with the number you ultimately achieve.
He might get uptight about activities
Often, the guy is the one who planned the honeymoon—mainly because you had no time. You were probably the boss of the wedding planning process, so he might feel he’s the boss of the honeymoon.
If he planned a day of renting jet-skis or zip-lining down the mountain, he might get annoyed if you say you want to stroll through the town instead, looking at antiques. Try to compromise.
This doesn’t mean you should feel forced to do whatever he’s planned—it’s your honeymoon, too—but at least acknowledge the time he’s put into arranging things.
Also, don’t feel like you can’t split off on your own if you feel like it. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, etc.
The world may not care that it’s your honeymoon
While you’re walking around feeling dazed and blissful, the rest of the world is going about its business.
You will be surrounded by people dealing with everyday affairs: running to work, buying groceries, feeling fed up and bored out of their minds with the wonderful island atmosphere that you and your husband find so charming.
If people are rude or indifferent–if they don’t smile at you two as you pass arm in arm, or give you free stuff just because you’re young, beautiful and in love–don’t let it faze you. They’re just not operating in honeymoon mode.
There are no guarantees
Perhaps you imagined your honeymoon as a fairytale. Or maybe the end of a romantic film. The couple have finally got together, all difficulties have been overcome, and the swelling music signifies the beginning of their perfect, blissful life together.
It’s a nice image, and one that we have indulged in occasionally ourselves (though our version usually involves wailing heavy metal guitars, jets roaring across the sky, and Chuck Norris giving us the thumbs up).
But, of course, a honeymoon is real life, and like in real life anything can happen.
- You might come down with the flu;
- You might get your bags stolen;
- You might end up in a hotel room with a view of a brick wall, or at a restaurant with really mediocre food.
- Your flight might get delayed, and you’ll end up wasting 8 hours in an airport terminal, waiting for the airline to get its act together.
The upside? If something does happen, you don’t have to go through it alone. You go through it with your favorite person. You’ll be surprised at how tolerable 14 hours in an airport terminal is when you’re spending it with the man you love.
The honeymoon is not the happily-ever-after at the end of a story. It’s the beginning of the story: the story of your marriage.
Looking for a great way to have part of your honeymoon financed? Set up a honeymoon registry from Honeyfund and let your guests help you out!
The Plunge Bio: The number 1 destination for grooms on the web, The Plunge is a wedding site for guys. We help them figure out everything from getting the ring and proposing, to writing their groom speech and planning their honeymoon. We’re their (unofficial) best man. Check us out at http://www.theplunge.com/.