June 2018

Bored flowergirls at wedding

This entry is from our Expert Guest series where wedding and honeymoon professionals share their best tips on creating memories that last a lifetime…

Just imagine it – it’s finally your big day and you are walking down the aisle to your forever person. The ceremony begins and as you start your vows, somewhere amongst the guests, you hear a baby screaming. Or, maybe your cousin’s son won’t sit still and is running around the back of the building. Not the most romantic moment, right?

Whether or not to invite children to your wedding can be somewhat of a touchy subject. Whenever a wedding is planned, there’s always many people involved, often with differing opinions and feelings. Inviting children to your wedding is by no means a faux pas, and many people opt for that, so the choice is ultimately up to you and your fiancé.

Children at wedding

Why A “No Children Invited” Policy At Wedding Ceremonies Or Receptions

Common reasons people opt to not include children might be:

1. Cost

Inviting children means a higher guest count, with added budget needed for kids meals and beverages. If you are tight on cash for your big day, discluding children and just inviting your adult friends and family is the best way to keep costs at a minimum.

Too many children

2. Large Numbers

If you are getting married later in life (as I just did, at 35) it means probably most of your friends already have kids which means potentially adding 40+ kids to your wedding day, and let’s be honest, this isn’t a carnival. So, just keep any kids at a minimum by just allowing nieces/nephews to attend and even better, add them in as ring bearers or flower girls!

3. Alcohol Being Served

Alcohol is flowing and therefore you want the atmosphere as mature as possible so everyone can let loose for the night!

Distraught child at wedding

4. Disruption

Finally, you may want an intimate ceremony with your best and closest and don’t want to run the risk of a crying child interrupting your most vulnerable, emotional moments with your new spouse.

Informing Your Guests It’s Adults Only

All of the above are perfectly legitimate reasons, but how do you go about telling your guests this without offending? Read on below for some pointers!

Invitation wording for Adults Only

Invitation Wording: 

Main invite: This is the best and most direct, while still polite, way to let your guests know children are not invited. At the bottom of your invite, instead of the typical, “Reception to follow” you can simply add “Adult reception to follow”. That one keyword helps to let people know – no kids.

Reply card: Add a line that says “We have reserved ___ seats in your honor”. If you are inviting, for example, John and Jane Smith (who also have 2 kids), you would simply put the number “2” in that blank before sending it so that John and Jane know there’s only room at the table for the two of them and no more. Alternately, you can add under the “accepts with pleasure” line “___ of ___ attending”.

Envelope addressing: How you address your envelope should also dictate who’s invited. If you want just the parents, you address to just them. If you are inviting their kids then it could be worded “The Smith Family” or with the kids’ names written out on the line below their parents.

Be blunt! Lastly, you can be super direct and on an insert card or elsewhere. Some sensitive guests may find it rude but it is the most effective.

  • Please, no children
  • Adult only affair
  • This invitation is extended to adults only
  • Adults only ceremony and reception

Wedding Website Wording:

Events tab: Your wedding website is another place you can add this wording, under the schedule of events tab for the wedding day.

Adults' only wedding

While family members and friends may disagree with your decision about inviting children to your wedding ceremony and reception, it’s your wedding. Taking a direct approach is to state your preference, minimize hard feelings, and allow your guests to make plans for childcare.

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BIO: Louise & Third is a Southern California-based, boutique planning and design company specializing in weddings and social events. With our high level of service and a focus on design, we cater to each client’s specific personal style in order to deliver the most unique event possible.  We crave creative details and love transforming a space into something truly breath-taking.  We love what we do and can’t wait to meet you!

Website: http://louiseandthird.com

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Photographer Mari Lezhava

By The Newport Bride

The wedding world is full of DIY tutorials and crafty suggestions for creative brave brides. The problem is, a suggestion by an impartial third source isn’t always helpful or realistic. The truth is, while making your own bridesmaid dresses might sound like a fun project when it’s 2am and you’re scouring Pinterest for cost cutting wedding ideas, but when it comes to actually having to make them, more often than not it’s just a hot mess. We’ve seen it all and we can tell you what is worth adding a personal touch to, and what you should just stay far far away from!

Lena Mirisola Photography

DO Favors – Personalizing your guest’s gift is a great way to add a fun touch (or flavor) to your wedding day. Whether you’re making homemade cookies, crafting christmas ornaments, or making a donation to the charity of your choice, wedding favors are the perfect item to DIY!

DO NOT Flowers – Wedding flowers are one of those things that couples are always trying to DIY and 95% of the time, it backfires big time. Creating a bouquet, centerpiece, or ceremony arch is more than just sticking flowers together. A knowledgeable florist knows exactly the environment each bloom needs to flourish, the support they need while being displayed, and most importantly, how to create designs that can last through a whole day of wedding fun. Hire a good florist and let them do the dirty work!

Joseph Laurin Photography

DO Programs – Ceremony orders are often something couples settle on just a few weeks before the wedding. With a Word document, Canva.com creation, or even Powerpoint, you can create a program with your exact wording, a beautiful font, and custom colors. Plus, you can print at home or a local office supply store.

Kim lyn photography

DO NOT planner – Being a wedding planner requires an extreme attention to detail, the ability to remain positive and calm throughout any type of situation, and a lack of relation to the people getting married. Anyone who is close enough to be invited to your wedding is someone who should not be asked to help run your wedding day. Find someone who is unbiased, who can help coral wayward uncles and cousins, and most of all who is on your side and willing to do whatever you need to help make your day perfect.

Melissa Robotti Photography

DO Guest Book – Personalized guest books are all the rage right now. Few couples opt for the traditional blank book covered with guests signatures. If you are having a nautical wedding, have guests sign the sail of a table top boat or an oar. If you love baseball, get a monogrammed home plate you can someday hang on your wall. Get creative and find or make something you can display forever!

Molly Anne photogaphy

DO NOT DJ – We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again, an iPod and dance playlist does not replace a trained professional. A DJ is about more than playing one song after the next. A DJ helps smooth transitions, avoid any awkward silence, and MC the night keeping guest well informed and comfortable. There’s nothing that ruins a night like a iPod with a dead battery or a broken skip button.

Rachel Girouard Photography – www.rachelgirouard.com Stephanie Vegliante Photography

DO Table Decor Elements – Similar to creating your own guest book, table decor elements are a great way to add a personalized touch to your wedding decorations. Make a giant monkey’s fist knot ball, add pictures of you and your fiance, or include trinkets from your travels to each table for added interest that will keep your guests intrigued all night!

Sarah Pudlo Photography

DO NOT Wedding Dress – Surprisingly, the wedding dress is something many bride’s contemplate sewing themselves. Unless you are a master seamstress, we wouldn’t suggest tackling the challenge of crafting your bridal gown. Wedding dresses are extremely intricate, often delicate, and most of all, super stressful! Let your designer or seamstress worry about getting the exact fit and find a great local boutique that carries an array of styles.

Melissa Stimpson Photography

DO Officiant – Many couples don’t have a family religious figure who they want to conduct their ceremony. There are plenty of great officiants for hire out there, but we really love when couples ask a close friend or family member to marry them. This meaningful privilege is a wonderful way to include someone special. Plus, there’s a good chance their head will be in your first kiss picture so you might as well make it a face you want to see forever!

© 2016 Ryan DeVoll Photography

DO NOT Photography – Tops of the DO NOT DIY list is photography. You only get one wedding day, and you only get one shot to get the pictures that will last a lifetime. It doesn’t matter how much your cousin loves their camera, or how many of their friends they’ve shot. Weddings are long, stressful, and high-pressure events that should be handled with care by trained professionals. Do yourself a favor and hire someone with experience who is not related to you and who can provide you quality images you’ll want to show off.

Bio: The Newport Bride is a Rhode Island based bridal blog featuring tips, trends, and real wedding inspiration from the Ocean State. Started by a passionate bride-to-be, The Newport Bride blog is a resource anyone who love beautiful images, creative designs, and weddings! Their passion is highlighting local businesses and helping making wedding planning just a bit easier. Follow along with The Newport Bride on Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter and Facebook @TheNewportBride and thenewportbride.co

 

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